This slows down the moment between something happening and you feeling terrible about it, so you can see what your mind actually did in between.
The idea
A thought is not a fact. It feels like one because it arrives with certainty and speed — but a thought is a guess your mind made, very fast, using old information. Writing it down is what turns it back into a guess you can examine.
How to fill it in
Situation. Just the facts. What would a camera have recorded? Not "she ignored me" — rather "I sent a message at 2pm and had no reply by evening."
Feeling, 0–10. Name it in one word and rate how strong it was. Anxious 8. Ashamed 6. Angry 9.
The thought. What went through your mind at that moment? Write it as it actually sounded, even if it is unkind or embarrassing. Especially then.
Evidence for. What genuinely supports that thought? Be fair to it.
Evidence against. What does not fit? What are you leaving out? What would you notice if this had happened to someone else?
A fairer thought. Aim for accuracy rather than cheerfulness. It should feel slightly uncomfortable, the way the truth usually does.
Feeling now, 0–10. Rate the same feeling again. If it drops even two points, the tool is working.
Two notes
Do it near the moment. Within a few hours, while you can still remember the thought rather than a summary of it.
Three a week beats twenty in one evening. This is a habit, not a project.
Fill this in
Situation
Feeling 0–10
The thought
Evidence for
Evidence against
A fairer thought
Feeling now
If you get stuck
Ask yourself the one question that unlocks most of these: if a woman I loved told me she was thinking this, what would I say to her? Then write that down in the last column.
If it isn't shifting
Worksheets help, but they aren't a substitute for a conversation. If you've been working at something on your own and it hasn't moved, that usually means it needs another person in the room.
This worksheet is educational material, not treatment. If you are in immediate danger or thinking about harming yourself, please contact your local emergency number or a crisis line in your country now.